never play flip cup with pint glasses
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize