At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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