Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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