i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
