I think I died a long time ago.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I supernannyed him into submission
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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