all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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