We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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