ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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