Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
