I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
How does one acquire holy water?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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