We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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