im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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