I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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