He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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