Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize