Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
