Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
