She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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