My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
