I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
