its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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