just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
