dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
