So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
