I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just had sex bonerless
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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