I wanna bring you to show and tell
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
