I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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