Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
