Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
