you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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