you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You were trust falling into bushes
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
