Sry I called you an 8
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
