I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
