I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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