i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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