Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
