I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
