k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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