super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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