I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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