My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
