Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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