did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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