You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
