Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
