She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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