Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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