I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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