Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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