We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
