ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
