I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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