brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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