Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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