i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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