i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
babies were throwing up all over the place
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
