this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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