We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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