Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
