Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
