the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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