You can't motorboat a personality
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
