in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
